Niggahz and Sigmaz

Try not to judge the bumps on my face lol...So I am coming to you blog tonight listening to Musiq's Today...I love how music has a way of reminding you how you are supposed to be in love. I mean there are so many love songs...I bet you are wondering why I called this blog Niggaz and Sigmaz...Well I am a proud member of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. but there is this one thing about me that I dont think alot of Sigmaz are proud of...Im GAY. There it is I have dropped the bomb that created the crowd to ooh and Ahh...

There is nothing that I wouldnt do for my frat brothers, I will be there for them through thick and thin...but you wanna know something. Its hard when you dont feel tha same thing about the frat brothers that you surround yourself with. Could my wanting to do so much for them be a mask of my real wanting to feel loved as KENNY. Not as anything else...not a brother, a dude, nothing just Kenny. I dont know about if that has been happening. Every since I can remember people have always seen me as strong. But there are these weak parts about me that I cannot hide anymore! I have always put myself aside for others...doing for them because I really didnt give a fuck about what people thought about me. As long as they are happy. Why is that? What is wrong with me to the point where I cant just say Fuck off NO its about me? I wont ever be able to do that shit...ever.

There is a list of things that I have done for other relationships...but only straight dudes..
Tobias...using my room in high school to fuck Ayonna, two people very close to me but wanted each other so bad I sacrificed.

Brian..not know what to do about his lost girl Marianne...and begged me to use Cruel Intentions to get his girl back...well they are back together and no calls from Brian who is by the way my frat brother.

Lance...taking me to DC to chill wit me and going to fuck Tasha in DC leaving me in the living room to just sit there.

And theres more...

But I keep allowing this shit to happen because it seems this is the only way they will really try to get to know me. Its to a point where I am loosing who I am...and I have to put a stop to that QUICK!!!!

Ah man gotta love em

Niggahz and Sigmaz...

Gomab!